Note: Before reading, it's best to double-check the date on this letter. That said, in the spirit of an April Fools' Day laugh, we're sharing this satirical take on the ethanol discussion with our readers.
"Two longtime observers of the Midwest issued a stark warning to Congress today about the dangers of America's growing dependence on renewable fuels from the troubled region, and called for immediate action to boost oil imports from more stable parts of the world such as Iraq, Russia, Libya and Venezuela.
"The two experts – Corn Growers CEO Chris Novak and Renewable Fuels Association President & CEO Bob Dinneen – noted longstanding disagreements in the region between rival factions loyal to the Vikings, Packers, Bears, Lions and Colts. The states have clashed over whether "Duck, Duck, Goose" should be called "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck," and the long simmering dispute in Wisconsin threatens to divide the state between adherents to the "drinking fountain" faction and the "bubbler" faction.
"Given the great national urgency of the situation, the experts have decided to release the full text of their April 1 letter."