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Serving: KS

Noxious Weed, Sure. But It Has Nothing On Bermuda Grass

Early spring brings early weeds and in my world, Bermuda grass is a sure bet for classification as a noxious weed

The missing winter turned into the early spring this year and all forms of warm weather flora came to life early. Including my annual nemesis, Bermuda Grass.

If I haven't mentioned it before, I hate this stuff. Talk kochia and marestail and waterhemp all you want, my definition of weed, courtesy of a long-ago biology teacher is "any plant that is growing where you don't want it." And in my world, that, for sure, is Bermuda grass.

The problem is, you can't kill this stuff. You can knock it back for a few weeks, but it doesn't really die. It crawls into flower beds and invades cracks in the driveway. It crawls from my neighbor's yard into mine. I'm not sure it doesn't cross the street.

Some well-meaning former resident installed "weed barrier" fabric in the flower beds around the house. I'm not sure what kind of weed it bars, but it sure as heck isn't Bermuda grass. The stuff crawls in under the raised bed, cackles as it settles its endless roots under the protective barrier, and then rears its ugly head all along the bed among the perennials. The only thing the weed barrier does it make it impossible to pull out the roots without pulling out the fabric, which is so ridden with Bermuda grass roots that it's no barrier anyway.

This year, I've dedicated hour-long gardening "tech breaks" to using a garden pitch fork to shovel up flower bed soil, protective "barrier" and all and pluck out the roots of my favorite noxious weed. Chemistry is too good for this stuff. There's a certain satisfaction in physical violence.

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