Missouri Ruralist logo

The right way to end an argument is to admit when you're wrong, apologize and use key words.

Mindy Ward, Editor, Missouri Ruralist

January 24, 2020

3 Min Read
gun safe
BIG PROBLEM: Maneuvering this gun safe from the garage to the basement challenged the very essence of our marital bliss, hitting right at the heart of two problems — communication and trust. Mindy Ward

My husband and I recently bought a gun safe. It was not the small-cabinet kind, no, it was the fireproof, waterproof, 36-gun-holding kind. Moving it tested us.

We disagreed on how to transport the 500-pound safe to the basement. He wanted the delivery guys to just put it on the back of the truck, and then we would drive it around to the basement door. “It will slide right off,” he assured me.

Now, if you’ve read my past blogs online or in print, you know that when my husband and I work together, a number of things go wrong. There was the time he pulled the tarp from underneath a large round hay bale while I was standing on it and jerked me right off my feet. Then there was the day he was flipping a sheep to trim its hooves and managed to flip me as well. And who can forget when he tried to "hop" a hay bale off the truck while I pushed, and I landed flat on my back?

So, I wasn’t convinced of his plan. We argued. He caved.

The safe was delivered and put in the garage. I walked out and saw it horizontal on a pallet. I looked over at him and said, “Well, how are we going to get that upright?” He walked away shaking his head. What happened next?

Well, it took one of these…

tarp on the ground

We placed the tarp under the safe and attached it to our two-wheel-drive truck. It was a good thing it was a little wet out. That safe just pulled straight down the hill. And then this happened.


At least the safe was closer to the basement, but it was still lying on its side. So, we used one of these …

fence stretcher

The fence stretcher attached to the hitch, and my husband ratcheted it off the ground a bit. “It’ll hold some of the weight while we push,” he said. We were able to finally lift the gun safe upright.

Once on the dolly, we moved it 2 feet, and it fell off. We repeated the whole fence puller process again.

After close to two hours, our new gun safe was finally in its permanent location.

gun safe

My husband’s way would’ve been a better choice. However, I could not see his vision of just tilting it off the back end to the upright position. All I saw was the possibility of a 500-pound safe dropping on one or both of us. By not listening to him, we lost time, we lost energy, and I’m pretty sure we pulled every muscle in our bodies — all to do it my way.

Communication is key in any good marriage. Misunderstandings take place. Arguments happen. But in a healthy relationship, you must own your mistakes.

I apologized to my husband. Rightfully so, he responded, “When are you going to trust me?”

“Well,” I quipped, “when you look at me and say those two magic words — gun safe.”

About the Author(s)

Mindy Ward

Editor, Missouri Ruralist

Mindy resides on a small farm just outside of Holstein, Mo, about 80 miles southwest of St. Louis.

After graduating from the University of Missouri-Columbia with a bachelor’s degree in agricultural journalism, she worked briefly at a public relations firm in Kansas City. Her husband’s career led the couple north to Minnesota.

There, she reported on large-scale production of corn, soybeans, sugar beets, and dairy, as well as, biofuels for The Land. After 10 years, the couple returned to Missouri and she began covering agriculture in the Show-Me State.

“In all my 15 years of writing about agriculture, I have found some of the most progressive thinkers are farmers,” she says. “They are constantly searching for ways to do more with less, improve their land and leave their legacy to the next generation.”

Mindy and her husband, Stacy, together with their daughters, Elisa and Cassidy, operate Showtime Farms in southern Warren County. The family spends a great deal of time caring for and showing Dorset, Oxford and crossbred sheep.

Subscribe to receive top agriculture news
Be informed daily with these free e-newsletters

You May Also Like