“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Throughout my childhood, this comment was a positive model of transference that elementary teachers used from time to time to reinforce good behavior among children. This modeling, first taught by my parents, instilled the elemental value of respect, not only for people in authority, but also for fellow human beings, regardless of their social status, gender or financial worth.

Not long ago, our family received a compliment that we never expected. A classmate and friend of our children expressed admiration and appreciation of our modeling behavior. Paraphrasing, he said to them, “Your parents reflect incredible piety, yet are so tolerant and accepting of others.”

This humbling revelation is but a small window in our private lives the public rarely sees, yet it reveals how our values affect our behavior.

Our humanity is imperfect, sometimes wrestling with conflicting personal interests, like everyone else. The temptation is to quickly judge, to dismiss, to accuse others of improper behavior, to engage in negatively reinforced transference. In other words, the very weakness we struggle with, we are tempted to blame other people as well, criticizing them for engaging in similar behavior.

The decision and responsibility is ours to allow our weaknesses to control us, or to control them. Do we win every time? No. But we do win. However, being mindful of our weaknesses, this modifies and minimizes our rush to judgment of others.

A recent revelation in the political arena clarifies the method of negative transference. During the presidential campaign prior to the election, candidate Hillary Clinton was accused by Donald Trump and others, while secretary of state, of using a private email account on an unsecured server, sending confidential and top secret messages, thus compromising national security.

Newly disclosed revelations by the media suggest President Trump used an unsecured phone after winning the election. In addition, the nominee for secretary of the EPA, Scott Pruitt, former attorney general of Oklahoma, denied accusations that he used an unsecured email account while in that office. This denial was made during his confirmation hearing for the post at the EPA. News media did a fact check and revealed that Pruitt had indeed used an unsecured account.

How we act is up to us. Another elementary school teacher also said, “Remember when you point the finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.” Mindful of that potential for hypocrisy, confession and repentance is a practice best implemented on a regular basis.

As leaders of a national commodity organization, our training gave us the tools to engage people, to listen well, gaining insight in recognizing what they want to tell us. We even learned how to engage media during an adversarial interview. However, no training could prepare us for a personal, vindictive attack that questions our integrity.

Nor can one week’s worth of training prepare us to mitigate negative transference of questionable behavior onto other people, whom we are led to believe are less human than ourselves. This is a learned behavior and difficult to defeat.

Why is this relevant to farmers and agriculture?

Often referred as “the salt of the earth,” farm families embody the strength and character of what is good about rural America. Whether our ancestors came from Norway, Poland, or like mine, from the Ukraine, we reflect the moral and spiritual values of our forefathers. We teach our children to learn the value and rewards of hard work. We teach them to treat other people with respect. We love our adopted homeland. We are proud Americans.

If we value our heritage, we must be diligent in protecting those values from eroding further. The “golden rule” is paramount as we decide who influences our opinions and our opinions of others.

Penner is a Marion County farmer and past president of the National Association of Wheat Growers. His email is [email protected].