Watching the spectacular run of stuntwoman, actress, martial arts expert and former Husker pole-vaulter, Jessie Graff on American Ninja Warrior the other night, I was thinking about the many ninja moves I’ve had to make in my farming career.

Of course, none of these moves were on purpose. None of them were anything even slightly related to those tackled on TV by Graff. None of them exhibited the stamina, strength, courage, balance and athleticism of Graff’s run. Yet, in some alternative universe, they may have qualified as ninja-like to the untrained eye.

WRATH OF MOTHER COW: Ninja moves came with help from an angry mother cow.

I’m thinking primarily of accidental events like the time I was trying to tag a newborn calf, with my back to what I thought was a completely docile mother cow. As I turned slightly from the calf, out of the corner of my eagle-like vision, I saw that tame cow charging full steam toward me. The next thing I knew, I was flying through the air, about ten feet high. With ninja-like flexibility, with the help of the cow’s head, I was lifted into the air and cleared a nearby bale feeder, landing safely on my feet inside. What a move it was. Not a scratch on me, except for those butterflies in my stomach and the loud pounding of my heart from a near heart attack over the ordeal.

There was also the time I was fixing fence, trying to repair an electric wire that was shorting out on a steel post. I thought that I had disconnected the electric fencer from the fence before beginning my repairs. But, I was sidetracked by a float that was sticking on the nearby water tank and water flooding over the top of the tank. So, by the time I got that fixed, I had forgotten, unknowingly, to disconnect the fencer.

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I found out that it was connected the hard way. As I reached down to repair the fence, my forehead connected slightly with the very electrified wire. I leaped back from the fence and rolled on the ground in pain from the shock, or in shock from the pain, whichever it may have been. Again, I exhibited ninja-like moves, yet unplanned from my standpoint.

I have no doubt that there are other ninja farmers out there with better moves and skills than myself. As I take this opportunity to wish our Husker great, Jessie, all the best as she competes in the finals, I wonder aloud if there might someday be another competition for America’s ninja farmers. I won’t hold my breath.

Tell us about times when you made planned or unplanned ninja moves on your farm and ranch. Be sure to share your thoughts in the Comments section below.

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