August 5, 2017
I first came across the concept last winter. I didn’t take it seriously until I probed a little deeper. All these years my man has been telling me that my beloved goats weren’t worth the trouble, even in the years when I came out ahead financially. But now I can explain to him that goats are the new cash cows, all because of a new revolutionary craze called “goat yoga.”
Yes, that’s right. Goats plus yoga equates to, excuse the pun, “big bucks” for the goat owner. Who knew? It’s not hard to picture that this idea originated in Oregon.
Apparently someone had the brilliant idea that if you were stretching your body and thinking happy thoughts, adding a prancing and constantly waste-eliminating animal to this regimen would greatly enhance your experience. The demand is incredible. On just one farm in Oregon, there is a 1,200-person wait list to get a class ticket.
I checked out videos and websites and discovered: Tickets are usually bought way in advance. Folks will travel thousands of miles, book their vacations around the experience and are willing to spend a lot of money for an opportunity with a goat that, if they are lucky, will sit on their back and lie down next to their face while regurgitating and chewing its cud. I always knew I led a blessed life! I just didn’t know how to cash in on it.
Can you imagine?
So picture yourself tomorrow morning, before you begin your daily chores, sliding a little mat onto the barn floor after opening gates and stall doors, allowing any creature the freedom to wander over as you inhale deeply. You stretch one arm and leg out in front of you.
Imagine the delight to your soul as livestock could walk across your back, through your legs, pouncing off your neck as you turn upside down to get in touch with your inner chaotic self.
Just contemplate what a sense of full and raw nature you’d experience as you stretch out your woeful back while Bessie’s morning water intake begins to be eliminated right next to you. Notice that the goats, too, are in a squatting position, most likely becoming one with the environment around them.
Do you feel the calmness? Can you picture the serenity?
I’m thinking I could add a class with the chickens. There would be the added bonus of them scratching your back or the powerful surge of confidence as a rooster stands on your head while crowing and flapping his wings.
Hog and cow yoga
What about all the possibilities with hogs? How decompressing it could be as you snuggle up next to a pink-skinned sow. Imagine lying across the back of a cow while you work out those tense muscles. Her tail could even swat the flies off of your backside. This could be a whole new way to compensate for a fluctuating market.
Yup, livestock owners have always known they hold the key to inner peace. We just kept that secret to ourselves and attained it without the mat, the stretchy pants or the ultra-cool water bottle sitting next to us.
So, no more, Mr. Husband, claiming that my goats aren’t worth anything. They apparently are worth something. In fact, goats are what’s sought after in the world of fickle society.
McClain writes from Greenwood.
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