January 5, 2019
I love the movie “Miss Congeniality” with Sandra Bullock. While experiencing countless shenanigans as an undercover FBI agent competing in a beauty contest, she still wins the Miss Congeniality title.
More entertaining than the movie, a backyard chicken in Texas was recently crowned Miss Congeniality in Purina’s “Miss Flock-tober” contest. An adorable 4-year-old little girl, Brooklynne, and her mom’s hen competed against thousands of other chickens across the country. Brooklynne’s hen, Peaches, won and received a year’s supply of pleasurable poultry provisions.
Just what makes a chicken congenial? Its cooing clucking? Feather fluffing? Sporadic spasming?
I’m sure Peaches is strutting her stuff and her crown around her owner’s backyard “chicken sanctuary.” Her cackles to fellow hens assuredly include: “Don’t touch the tiara. The new vittles are mine, so find your own. I’m Brooklynne’s favorite,” and the most important, “Back off, Jack” to the resident rooster.
Three other contestants received distinguished recognition. Miss Performance went to an Easter egger hen named Hei Hei. Miss Fancy Feathers was awarded to a frizzled satin showgirl hen named Evelyn. And Miss Helpful went to a sizzle hen modestly named Meep.
I ponder what other barnyard animals could be given similar titles. Pigs could win Miss Portly Porcine. Some goats are certainly worth being called Miss Queen of the Dump. Alpacas are worthy of the Miss Projectile moniker. Sheep could compete for Miss Wooly Wonder. Cows could aptly win Miss Divine Bovine.
My husband, Terry, says to not leave out the male side of the species. Since bulls are not so congenial, they could easily win Mr. Virility. Swine could compete for Mr. Paunchy Pig and goat breeders, with King of the Mountain, don’t want to be left out. Sheep are protective of Mr. Rambunctious Ram, and equine lovers would prize Mr. Italian Stallion.
Hayhurst writes from Terre Haute, Ind.
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