Koffee Klutcher Kaffe in Littleburg isn’t exactly a place for high-brow debate over food quality and quantity for the starving. But these comments sure stirred gut rumbling the other day.

• Harley sed he was gonna start one of those Marie Osmond diets, then backed out cuz he was afraid he might start looking like her. Rumor has it that his wife was gonna put him on a bicycle.

• With sausage gravy dripping out of the corner of his mouth, L.M Duck declared: “Food is sustenance!”
“Obviously more so for some than others,” mumbled Doc Billy.

• “Never chug down a high-caffeine can before goin’ squirrel huntin’,” warned I.M. Dum. “Got so jittery, all my bullets were gone before seeing any squirrels.”

• Used to be that the phrase “catch fresh food” meant a good fish, rabbit or squirrel. Now it means catching convenience store food.

• And finally this: You’re probably a dairy farmer if you’ve received an award for “fat,” and are proud of it.

Birdsong is a pen name for a Farm Progress editor.