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Time to Make New Year's Resolutions

What will you resolve in '08?

What would the new year be like without a few resolutions. I'm willing to put these in print, but unwilling to guarantee I'll follow through on each one. Here's my list- how does it compare to yours?

  1. I resolve to eat more beef and pork every day, no matter what the animal rights crowd says.
  2. I resolve to promise I won't write another Front Porch column that leaves people hanging. Only those that faithfully visit this Web site know that my father reached his perch aloft in the combine this fall via a manure loader.
  3. I resolve to try harder to leave my wife out of my Front Porch stories. But even if I don't name her, people will think I'm talking about her anyway!
  4. I resolve to only eat one pork chop instead of two at every field day I attend next summer. You all better have those thick Iowa chops!
  5. I resolve never to turn down an offer from someone I'm interviewing to stay for lunch or dinner. The food is always good, and the conversation is usually even better.
  6. I resolve not to visit your farm if you think I'm a jinx. Let's see, one of the farms I've visited before was nearly wiped out by a tornado in October. Are you ready for me to stop by?
  7. I resolve to never be late to an interview. For me, this is like promising to lose weight. I try really hard, and have good intentions, but one way or another, the clock usually strikes the appointed hour before I pull in the driveway.
  8. I resolve, speaking of weight, to lose some, and keep it off this time. I lost 60 pounds two years ago, then gained 70 back. Run the math- it doesn't cipher out real well.
  9. I resolve to write about my kids and family as much as I want. They're my favorite subject.
  10. I resolve that if you live so far away that I would need to hop on an airplane to come see you, I'm not coming! I've been 'airplane free' for more than six years, and I figure if it's good enough for John Madden, the former pro football coach and commentator, traveling on the ground is good enough for me.
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