I feel like I spend half my life repeating myself, but then most Moms probably feel the same. Sometimes the words that come out of your mouth make you stop and say "did I really just have to say that?" But when you actually have to say it more than once, you begin to think back on your pregnancy and wonder if you did something that surely must have harmed your unborn child.
1. "Just don't blow yourself up." As silly as it sounds this comes up more often than you think it should around here. As much as a mother tries to protect her children sometimes they have to reinvent the wheel themselves. You just pray that they don't blow themselves up in the process.
2. "I don't make emergency room visits for acts of stupidity." This has always been my policy and I repeat this one quite often. I have even overheard my kids, more than once, during the thralls of planning and scheming say "Don't forget Mom won't take use to the emergency room for acts of stupidity!" Who knew they were actually listening. And, yes, for those wondering I have had to use this line on my husband as well.
Related: Problem Solving 101 for Farm Kids
3. "No we don't pee on an electric fence." Repeat you ask? Yes, to my son. I had to add the addendum "even if you're wearing your rubber boots." He was thoroughly convinced by his own deduction that his rubber boots would act as insulators. I did tell him I was not positive of this and he was more than welcome to give it a shot, and added "just don't blow yourself up"!
4. "Socks do not count as shoes!" I can't tell you how many times I have caught a child heading out to the barn to feed and had to tell them to put actual shoes on. "But Mom I am wearing socks!" Gross, just gross. Not to mention the safety issue.
5. "Are you serious?" This has just become my standard answer when I can think of any other reasonable response. Children, at least mine, sometimes ask to do the oddest things:
"No, you can't climb to the top of the leg to watch the rain and lightning storm. Are you serious?
"No, you can't go down to the hog barns to get a pig for a greased pig wrestling contest with your friends. Are you serious?"
"No, you can't get the circular saw and ladder out, you're five. Are you serious?"
"No, you can't use the Deere 9200 and field cultivator on your garden. Use the rototiller. Are you serious?"
"No, you can't pee on an electric fence even while wearing rubber boots. Are you serious?"
"No, you do not need the tractor and loader to pick up sticks in the yard. Are you serious?"
The opinions of Jennifer Campbell are not necessarily those of Indiana Prairie Farmer or the Penton Farm Progress Group.