What’s the best thing one farmer can do for another? Pay attention. Notice if someone’s behavior has changed. And don’t ignore your gut if it tells you to be concerned — because the people who need help the most are often the least likely to reach out.
“The last thing we want to do is wait until a funeral or visitation to think about what we could have done,” says Adrienne DeSutter, a behavioral health consultant who is married to Woodhull, Ill., farmer Drew DeSutter.
Here’s what to look for:
changes in a person’s typical behavior
eating or sleeping habits that change
decline in care of self, or farm, or livestock
sudden weight loss or gain
feeling trapped, hopeless or worthless
feeling like a burden
expressing unbearable pain
aggression or irritability
fatigue
withdrawal or isolation from friends and family
saying goodbye or giving away prized possessions
Here’s how to talk to them:
Point out things you’ve noticed. (“Haven’t seen you at church/card club/coffee.”)
Just want to see if everything’s OK.
Make sure you’re genuine; show empathy.
Listen to hear, don’t listen to respond.
Validate their concerns.
Provide resources.
Resources:
In an emergency, call 911, go to the ER or call a suicide hotline.
In a non-emergency situation, talk to a primary care doctor, mental health center or insurance provider — it may have a teletherapy option.
Farm Aid Farmer Resource Network; call 800-FARM-AID or 800-327-6243.
Iowa Concern by Iowa State University Extension is open to anyone; call 800-447-1985.
Avera Health Ministry’s farm-specific hotline; call 800-691-4336.
Minnesota Department of Ag and Ted Matthews; call 320-266-2390.
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