Wade Lowry’s heritage is steeped in Texas history, along with multiple generations of ranchers. Coupled with the pride accompanying a rich legacy are the pressures and expectations to maintain and advance it.  

What if you fail? What if you make the wrong decision? What if the extended family disagrees with how you are managing the family land? 

Sitting at the kitchen bar at their Bulverde, Texas, ranch, Wade and his wife Raegan, discussed the natural progression the Lowry’s family land has taken since it was acquired in 1888 through the Spanish Land Grant north of Laredo.  

Wade and Raegan Lowry. “He’s frustrated and not talking. It’s very isolating, but it’s isolating for everybody when you’re not talking,” Raegan said. “It separates and will tear families and relationships apart.” (Photo by Shelley E. Huguley)

While Wade’s father was a child, the Lowry Ranch encompassed around 60,000 acres. During Wade’s youth, it dwindled to 18,000 as family passed away and land sold. Today, Wade and Raegan own 6,000 acres, with about 12,000 acres of family land remaining. 

They noted the pressures that come with managing their own land, plus that of family who don’t work on the ranch, but all who have a desire to see the Lowry legacy continue.  

The last decade’s toll 

The couple also shared the toll the last decade has taken. With blessings have come challenges, including being laid off prior to ranching fulltime, balancing family and raising three kids, building a home while living in a horse trailer when COVID hit, along with mounting responsibilities and the decisions those encompass, all while battling drought.   

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By 2022, it had all come to a head.  

“For the longest, I would bottle it all up and hold it all in,” Wade said. He battled bouts of depression. “It was hard because I couldn’t talk to anybody about it.” 

He didn’t want to scare his wife. He admitted he didn’t have much faith. He was overwhelmed.  

“In ’22 we had had no rain, and we still had mortgage payments on cows,” he said.  

The Lowry family brand. “This was my grandfather’s brand. He’s carried it since the 20s. He passed away, so I took it over,” Wade Lowry said. (Photo by Shelley E. Huguley)

He and Raegan had previously purchased 150 acres in Bulverde, where they now call home. But in 2022, “Nothing was set up here. We were working late, and we had just moved into the house.  

“It was a dark year for me. A tough year,” Wade said. “Battling through wasn’t easy.” 

Raegan likened it to a façade. “He’s frustrated and not talking. It’s very isolating, but it’s isolating for everybody when you’re not talking,” she said. “It separates and will tear families and relationships apart.” 

Family pressures 

Wade also battled family pressures – some spoken, others self-imposed. As the only living sibling between his parents and uncle, he feared failing.  

When Wade was laid off, his parents gifted him and Raegan their ranch for estate purposes. “My dad rents it back, but all the decisions go through Raegan and I.”  

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He’s thankful for his parents’ encouragement and appreciates their trust and “hands-off” approach.  

Wade’s uncle, his dad’s brother and business partner, doesn’t have children, “so all of that comes to me. It’s managing expectations that are unbeknownst to a lot of people but myself,” Wade admitted.  

It’s also dealing with expectations from extended family who don’t work on the ranch but own the land and juggling the varying opinions about how the family legacy should be sustained. 

“People have this idea of how it should be done and how families work and what I should do and what I should do to keep it together,” he said.  

And then, there are unspoken family dynamics such as hierarchy. “It’s built in. It’s lasted the test of time.” Sometimes it’s not a struggle. Sometimes, “it’s a lot of pressure,” Wade admitted.  

“So, there’s a lot of family land that comes under our care. It’s a lot to think about and manage. And a lot of it is not mine yet.” It’s a balancing act. He doesn’t want to overstep, and yet he knows that the decisions made today will impact the future. 

Getting help 

As these pressures waged war against his peace in 2022, Wade sought help in community. 

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“We did a marriage course at church that got me back into a group setting and a men’s Bible study,” Wade said. 

He also shared his struggles and isolation with a fellow farmer and friend. “I started talking to my best friend Chet about mental health, farming, waiting on a rain, and being depressed.”  

“I had a fear to perform and not ask for help. I’m not saying don’t ever ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps,' but it’s that mentality of never talking about anything to anyone,” Wade Lowry said. “I have to focus on my family first, as opposed to what everybody else thinks. I’m still battling that.” (Photo by Shelley E. Huguley)

He also began to be more vulnerable with his wife. “I wouldn’t show that for a long time,” he said. “I didn’t want to show it because it looked weak.” 

Wade admitted it’s tough to say you’re struggling. “You’re supposed to be the provider in all things. But I can’t control the rain. I can’t control the prices. I can’t control COVID. I was stressed about things I don’t control.” 

And as the only sibling left in his family after losing a sister to a brain aneurysm in 2008, he felt tremendous pressure to perform, like a puppet at times, he said. He battled a fear of failure.  

“I had a fear to perform and not ask for help. I’m not saying don’t ever ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps,' but it’s that mentality of never talking about anything to anyone,” Wade said. 

Wade continues to work on breaking free. “I have to focus on my family first, as opposed to what everybody else thinks. I’m still battling that.” 

“Communication and community, having faith and trust over your fears are huge,” Raegan added.  

He’s also working on taking life one day at a time and celebrating more. “I was work, work, work. I had to be busy because that showed importance. But it really doesn’t. It was just busy.” 

He also expressed the power of accountability he found in his men’s Bible study. “None had been in farming or ranching, but all had worked, been married, had kids, and had been mad at God and their spouse and their kids. Had been disappointed. 

“But if you strip away all the crap, a lot of it’s the same, no matter the occupation. Sometimes they’re going through worse stuff than I am. My stuff looked big to me but on a global scale, it was stuff I shouldn’t have been worried about. They were great to me and still are.” 

If you or someone you love is in need of help for depression or just needs someone to talk to, there are resources available, including dialing 988 for the national mental health hotline. Follow this link to learn more.