Summer is upon us, and thousands of school bus drivers are celebrating. So now parents have the Herculean task of keeping their kids' noses out of smartphones and video games.

That topic came up the other day at the Good Ol' Boys Club. Keep in mind these guys are a tad past their prime — unless you're measuring belly fat.

• "Send 'em out rock picking," advised Cornhead Cal, "at a penny a pound."

• "Great idea!" chimed C.M. Duck. "Throw in fresh air, sunshine and muscle-building as perks. They'd pay a lot for them in town sweat gyms."

• "I'd throw in a bonus for each ton gathered each day," suggested Barn Bette. "To be safe, you could eye-ball the tonnage."

• "Think of it as teaching them a greater good," sed Phil Osifer. "Looking for rocks will sharpen their focus and attention span — and appreciation for the experience as reflected upon later in life."

• True to his lazy nature, I. M. Dum added, "With a loader-tractor or backhoe, right?"

And finally this: My five-year-old grandson had a yearning for family history. "What was your grandpa's name?" he asked. "Did he have a beard?"

Next morning, he bounded down for breakfast with his two-year-old sister — both sporting "magic marker" beards and mustaches.

Jonathan Birdsong is a pen name for a Farm Progress editor.