Two farmers were shooting the breeze one morning before each headed off to do their chores. The subject of fishing happened to come up. The older one asked the young farmer, “Did you ever go fishing?”
“Once,” he deadpanned.
“Once, that’s it?” his friend replied.
“Once,” came the answer again.
His friend knew there was a story there.
“I came home from college and my uncle asked me if I wanted to go fishing,” the young farmer explained. “I thought, ‘Why not?’ So, I told him I would go.
“We went to a lake and I got out a fishing pole. It didn’t really dawn on me that it was a state-owned lake. Pretty soon a conservation officer happened along and saw us fishing. We hadn’t even got a nibble yet.”
“Can I see your fishing license?” the officer asked.
The young farmer replied honestly, “I’ve never been fishing before, and I don’t have one.”
“Well, that’s OK, I’ll just write you an $80 ticket.”
“How about if I take my fishing pole up the hill, throw it in the woods and we call it good?”
“You can do that,” the officer said with a smile. “But you’re still getting an $80 ticket!”
Said the young farmer to his older friend, “So that was the first and only time I ever fished!”
Spin a topper
The young farmer was sure his friend couldn’t top that fish story. “I can top it, and I didn’t even go fishing,” his friend replied.
The older farmer operates the family farm. His folks live near the road, but his barns are off the road near a small farm pond.
“I drove back there to feed one evening, and there was a car parked on the dam. A couple was at the edge of the pond fishing.”
The older farmer approached them. “Would you like to tell me what you’re doing here?” he asked. “This is private property.”
The lady shot back quickly, barely looking up from her bobber, “No sir, this is a public lake. Google Maps says this is Stone Lake [name changed], and since it’s named on Google Maps, it’s a public lake.”
The farmer wasn’t amused. “Ma’am, this is a family farm. Those are my cattle over there, and that is my tractor down there by that barn.”
“Well, it’s still a public lake because it’s named on Google Maps,” she retorted.
“Tell you what,” the farmer said. “I’m going down to feed my cattle. If you guys are still here when I get back, I’m going to call the sheriff. I see you’ve already caught a lot of fish. You can keep the fish. But I want you to leave now.”
By the time he got back, the couple had left, taking the fish with them.
“Is that the end of your story?” his young friend asked.
“Not quite,” he said. “My mom later told me that a lady knocked on the door that evening about 9 p.m. She wanted to know if the ‘lake’ had a name, and who owned the property. My mom answered and sent her on down the road.
“I always figured they stopped to inquire before they left because they still thought it was a public lake. They thought I was just another fisherman trying to protect his fishing hole!”
So who told the bigger fish tale? You decide. As always, both stories are true!