When my children were born, I had specific requirements for their names. They had to be easy to spell and pronounce. At the same time, I avoided trendy names, so my kids would not end up sharing a name with a classmate. Meanwhile, my husband, who is a teacher, vetoed any name that reminded him of any troublesome student he’d ever taught. It’s a wonder we don’t refer to our offspring as Child 1, Child 2 and Child 3.

When it comes to naming calves, I’m not quite that particular. I just want something other than an ear tag number for record-keeping and everyday reference. And I like calling them by their names, even though they ignore me unless feed is involved.

Sometimes calves seem to name themselves because of their markings. While many cattle producers prefer cattle that are uniform in appearance, I like a little variety. It makes it easier to identify them from a distance, and they are more interesting as pasture decoration. Another advantage is that unique markings offer a starting point for name selection. For instance, a black crossbred calf with white and red patches earned the name Calico.

Starting calving season with a naming theme in mind can help with name selection as well. For instance, last year I went with names from oldies music, such as Louie, Lucy, Mandy and Sharona. We also had twins named Tommy and Gina. I know in the song they’re sweethearts, not siblings, but there are surprisingly few oldies songs with both male and female names. Of course, I could have gone with Jack and Diane, but I like Bon Jovi better than John Mellencamp.

Holiday-themed
Sometimes when a calf is born on a holiday or other notable day, the name reflects that. For instance, we’ve had a Patrick born on St. Patrick’s Day and a Bunny born on Easter. Last year, though, it took some effort to come up with a name for a calf born the day of the solar eclipse. The name also needed to fit the oldies theme, so he ended up being named Moon Shadow.

This year’s naming theme started out with musical instruments, and the first calf was named Tambourine. However, the second calf had a white mark that looked like the state of Michigan, so we reverted to the unique-marking naming method. He ended up with the name Wolverine. Somehow the naming theme then shifted to words that rhyme with bean. Now, along with Tambourine and Wolverine, we have Caffeine, Arline, Abilene, Aberdeen and Mr. Clean.

If a calf has especially distinctive markings, it’s best to just start out with a name that reflects the markings. The calf will just end up with a nickname related to the markings anyway. For example, several years ago a calf was born with a white spot in an unfortunate location on her nose. Her name might be Rose, but everybody calls her Booger. Fortunately, she doesn’t seem to mind.