Murphy’s infamous laws must have risen from on-farm experience. Here’re a few of them:

• No. 296: Babies always wait until the peak of planting and harvest rush to be born — after at least one false alarm.

• No. 332: Honey wagons, combines, trucks and choppers never break down — when empty.

• No. 385a: Things invariably get worse under pressure.

• No. 385b: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed to be replaced anyway.

• No. 391: It’s impossible to finish a farming year without losing either your smartphone or that new socket wrench you replaced last year.

• No. 399: Cows and hogs have built-in sonar, enabling detection of the weakest spot in any fence. Sheep sonar zeros in on the best-fitting neck-catcher in any stretch of fence.

• No. 1,000: When you’re finally convinced life’s going pretty well, something ugly will be right around the corner.

Jonathan Birdsong is a pen name for a Farm Progress editor.