Farm Progress

Higher Ground: Changing is hard for this longtime bachelor. But God is using his marriage to open his heart.

June 28, 2017

2 Min Read

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 says: “To everything there is a season, and time to every purpose under heaven, a time to be born, a time to die, a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.” And I have to add “and a time for a longtime farm bachelor to get hitched!”

Last year, I married a wonderful woman. Marrying for the first time at age 40 has at times been a hard process — transitioning from a “me” to a “we” mindset. Working alone with cows and calves, I was comfortable relying on myself and seeking help only when absolutely necessary.

I had carried this way of thinking into my marriage — wanting things done my way and relying on myself — not a good thing. God worked on my heart through his word, and using godly friends to share wisdom on healthy relationship skills. It’s been humbling.

It’s also been great!
It’s wonderful to have a wife that’s a friend, an encourager and someone with whom I can trust my heart. Trusting someone else, though, leaves me feeling vulnerable and exposed. It’s hard to do.

But God is using marriage as a tool to uncover what I had hidden away. He knew what was to come after I said, “I do.” And my journey of learning will never stop as long as my heart stays open.

In life, just as in farming, you have to expect to fix or repair something daily. All of us need fixing, and going to the Lord in prayer is a great place to start.

You never know what God will use to reach you. But he hears the cries of your heart, and in due time he’ll answer you. And, yes, my wife approved this message.

Neil Norman,
Thompson, Conn.

Norman is part of the Northeast Connecticut chapter of Fellowship of Christian Farmers International. For more about FCFI, visit

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