* “Cow boy” Bob was struggling to explain early morning farm scents to Merlo Winer so the yuppie could understand: “Think of it as a delicate blend of freshly cut young grass and sweet clover intermingled with a faint whiff of stocky moo-doo.”
* My 3-year-old grandson spotted a bag of M&Ms in my truck glovebox. “What’s that?” he asked.
“When you learn to read, you’ll know,” I replied as I tucked them away out of sight.
* If more parents saw who their kids were hanging out with, they’d be certain to spend more time with them.
* “Somethin’ strange is happenin’,” sez I.M. Dum. “All the younger guys I know are sproutin’ gray hair or shaving their skulls.” Yup, they’re not so young no more, and the latter is a cover for it.
* Shaving bald may be trendy today, but chest hair tells the truth.
* Barn Bette asked Ol’ JD how old he was. “Almost 68,” he hedged. “But when I lose 40 pounds, I’ll be like 28.”
Rolling her eyes, she mumbled: “Fat chance!”
* I.R. Nutz wonders if he can get disability cuz “My ‘thinker’ can’t get outa granny gear.”
* Ever wonder why the newest, fanciest vacant buildings in town are often banks?
Jonathan Birdsong is a pen name for a Farm Progress editor.
About the Author(s)
You May Also Like