The county fair may be only a few days out of a child’s life each summer, but that child might just carry a judge’s words with them long after the ribbons fade.

That thought came to me the other day as I was driving to the third of three county fairs I was judging in one week. I’ve been on both sides of the judge’s table in my lifetime. A good judge on a good day can build a young 4-H member into a strong young adult. And a bad judge — well, they can tear a youngster down without even thinking about the consequences.

When I sit across the table from a 4-H member, no matter if they’re 7 or 17, I have an obligation to be fair, to provide advice to improve, and to encourage them to try harder.

Sometimes that means taking time with a quiet and shy new member who’s put a lot of effort into a poster about her favorite book but who’s suddenly struck with stage fright in front of a stranger. Sometimes it means challenging a teenager to try harder when I know they have it in themselves to improve and take this project — take life, actually — seriously.

Above all, the job is to build resilience in these 4-H members. And as tough as it is to get a red or a white ribbon, that momentary sting is nothing compared with a lifetime of “meh” attitude from an adult who always got a blue ribbon and never put in the work.

Through the 4-H fair judging process, children can learn from their setbacks if they get feedback they can apply next time. They can learn from a red or white ribbon and vow to do better if the judge takes the time to explain the placing. They can learn how to be gracious in winning, and in losing, if the judge takes the time to encourage and celebrate.

Now, there’s also a benefit we fair judges don’t often talk about, but it’s that we learn from those 4-Hers across the table from us.

For example, over the years I’ve learned how a neurodivergent mind approaches a 4-H project. I’ve used that to help me communicate with other neurodivergent minds in my work and personal life.

I’ve learned about thousands of topics from 4-Hers so excited to share their special knowledge. That enthusiasm is a refreshing reminder of how learning is a lifelong process.

I’ve watched members grow in confidence and maturity, employing tools I’ve given them to improve. They remind me that the 4-H program works if you put in the work.

In 20 or more years of judging 4-H competitions, I’ve been inspired, I’ve been surprised, and I’ve felt small pride on my side of the judge’s table.

I hope I’ve made a difference in those who’ve sat across from me. And I hope that someday they get the blessing to sit in this judge’s seat and be able to pay that forward to the next generation.