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Animal Health Notebook

Thanks To Cable Television I’m About To Get Mad!

After trying it both ways, I find having television and the news is more a curse than a blessing.


Several years ago my wife, Linda, got mad at and refused to pay a particular satellite TV provider due to the company’s poor customer service.

The company called on multiple occasions and stressed that we were valued "patrons." Well, I suppose someone changed his or her mind because our service was disconnected within 45 days.

I was a little mad with Linda’s decision to boycott lousy TV service. However, we settled in and spent the next couple of years without television.

I began to think it was not really all that bad.

Yes, I missed watching and sleeping through several ball games. The scores were the same without my attention. Linda would give me the weather report off her smart phone every morning and check the cattle market and report what was happening. She bought and rented a few DVDs, and we spent more time reading in our areas of interests.

In August 2012, before the kick-off of football season and the World Series, Linda contracted with a different satellite provider. Being once again connected to the world’s events and reality TV, I realized that "everything" had really gone to hell during our hiatus. Now I am about to get really mad, again!

First, there was all this nonsense about the government wanting to take over health care and provide "affordable" services and products. Who ever heard of the government providing affordable anything? Remember, the federal government was created for three things:

(1) Promote harmony between the states

(2) Fight wars

(3) Build roads

And just about nothing else. History tells us that the federal government has never been efficient at effectively carrying out those three aforementioned duties; so it certainly needs to refrain from dabbling in other affairs of our public.

Then, I made the mistake of listening to the news and learning that Congress might not renew long-term unemployment benefits, which it has been furnishing to the tune of an average $330 per week for the past four or five years to several millions of Americans. This meant that I had been working and funding four to five million able bodies to lie around on the sofa watching TV, to play video games, to troll the internet – the frustrating possibilities were limitless!

I blew up and changed channels.

My remote landed me on the farm network. There I sat, as almost in a trance, through a 15- minute excruciating interview with the Secretary of Agriculture. I listened to the stupidity of the "farm bill" and "renewable fuels" and "feeding the world," and finally, "importing cheap labor." I convulsed uncontrollably.

When I could think again, I considered shoving by boot through the TV screen, or, better yet, just cancelling our satellite service again. Instead, I turned the one-eyed monster off and began writing.

Ladies and gentlemen, as I penned my thoughts I must admit I reveled in the unthinkable madness: I surely do wonder how successful I could have been if only I could have started every Monday morning with another $330 courtesy of my thoughtful and helpful government.

Truth is, I might not have even gotten started! That rocking chair "disease" may very well be contagious.

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